Teaser Act 1 Act 2 Act 3 Act 4 Act 5
Episode #VS718


Murder Most Foul

Crossing Jordan Virtual Season 7

“Murder Most Foul”

Written by
Bourbon

Art by
Art Gal

Act Banners by
Jilly and Nyn

 

“Crossing Jordan Virtual Season 7” is a fan-based effort not intended to infringe on the rights of Tailwind Productions, NBC/Universal or any of the other copyright holders of “Crossing Jordan.” No money was made from the writing or posting of any content.

DRAMATIS PERSONAE


Jordan Cavanaugh
Detective Woodrow “Woody” Hoyt
Garret Macy
Nigel Townsend
Kate Switzer
Mahesh “Bug” Vijayaraghavensatanaryanamurthy
Lily Lebowski

Emy
Henry VIII
Six Wives
Fight Choreographer
Todd
Director
Molly
Rick
Young Man
Jake
Props Lady
Stage Manager
Actor
Mrs. Leonard
Heidi
Sean
Tricia
Ben

 

SET LIST

INTERIORS
THE MORGUE
   TRACE
   AUTOSPY ONE
   BREAK ROOM
   CONFERENCE ROOM
   LILY’S OFFICE
   LOBBY

COLLEGE THEATRE
   LOBBY
   AUDITORIUM
   BACKSTAGE
   STAGE

STORE

HIGH SCHOOL
   CLASSROOM
   HALLWAY

 

EXTERIORS
COLLEGE QUAD

FOOD TENT

MORGUE ROOFTOP

 


Teaser

1. EXT. COLLEGE QUAD – DAY
Brush Up Your Shakespeare

MUSIC: “BRUSH UP YOUR SHAKESPEARE”

The setting is Hancock College, a typical but fictional Boston liberal arts college, with red-brick Georgian style architecture and a tidy green quad. The college has currently been taken over by a Ren Fair and Shakespeare Festival. Out on the quad, we get various shots as the music plays: a man in medieval armor, a serving wench, a juggler, a man on stilts, and finally a mime, all while a crowd mills around.

Renaissance Fayre   Bar Wench  Acting

Cut to a hanging banner reading “WELCOME TO THE HANCOCK COLLEGE SHAKESPEARE FESTIVAL AND RENAISSANCE FAYRE”

Welcome...

The camera pans down to where we see a dead body on the ground dressed and looking just like Henry VIII. He is quite dead and still clutching a giant turkey leg.

We cut up to where we see the body surrounded by SIX WIVES dressed in Tudor costume. We also see WOODY and JORDAN looking on with a small measure of amusement.

Poetic Justice?
WIFE #1
He really was in character. Like all the time.

WIFE #2
Insisted on authentic Renaissance food for lunch. Took one bite of the turkey leg and started to choke.

WIFE #1
We tried to do the Heimlich, but we couldn’t get our arms around him…

WOODY
And you are?

WIFE #2
We’re his wives.


WOODY raises an eyebrow.

WIFE #2 (cont’d)
You know… Henry VIII and his Six Wives? We do a show. Every hour on the hour.

JORDAN
So, Henry VIII chokes on a turkey leg and his wives keep their heads. I’d say there’s a certain poetic justice in that.

JORDAN signals for some flunkeys to lift the gurney with HENRY’S considerable body onto the van.

WOODY
All right. Show’s over. Thanks, ladies.

. The WIVES disperse and JORDAN starts closing up her gear.

WOODY
Damn. Whose idea was it to have an outdoor festival in January?

JORDAN
They’ve gotta have it during J-term when most of the students aren’t around.

WOODY
J-term?

JORDAN
January term. Sort of like summer school in the winter.

WOODY
Oh. It’s a college thing. Still. I could sure use some of that Miami weather about now.

JORDAN
No kidding.

WOODY
You heard from your dad?

JORDAN
(brightening a little)
Yeah. He’s driving the home health aid crazy, of course. The head is healing nicely. The rest of him….?

WOODY puts a sympathetic arm around her.

WOODY
It’ll take time, Jordan. (beat) Let me buy you lunch?

JORDAN
As long as it’s not turkey.

A MIME crosses their path and tries to engage WOODY, but he ignores him and waves him off.

WOODY
Show folk… they give me the heebie jeebies.

He gives a little shudder.

JORDAN
Woody, it’s a Renaissance fair, not a geek show.

WOODY
There’s just something a little creepy about ‘em… always look like they’re gonna group hug or burst into song.

JORDAN
What – you never wanted to be in a school play or anything?

WOODY
(reluctantly)
I was in the Thanksgiving pageant when I was in third grade. I was… a pumpkin.

JORDAN guffaws.
WOODY (cont’d)
Hey, I was a chubby kid! I was the only one who could fill out the costume!

JORDAN rolls eyes playfully. They start walking as if to exit. JORDAN stops in front of one of the college buildings. There’s a banner hanging out front that says “SHAKESPEARE FESTIVAL TICKETS AVAILABLE HERE.”

WOODY
What are we doing?

JORDAN
Before we eat, you mind if I stop in and pick up some tickets?

WOODY
You mean, like, tickets as in theatre tickets?

JORDAN
That a problem?

WOODY
I just didn’t know you were that into Shakespeare, that’s all.

JORDAN
Sword fights, blood and guts, blue humor. What’s not to like?

WOODY gives her the eye… ’fess up.

JORDAN
(a bit sheepishly)
I had this amazing pre-med professor. Two PhDs in biochemistry and Art History. Said being well-rounded made him a better scientist, so…I minored in English Renaissance Lit.

WOODY
Really?

She shrugs. No big deal.
WOODY (cont’d)
You’re gonna make me go to a play, aren’t you?

JORDAN pushes him up the steps. He goes with an eyeroll and a groan.

JORDAN
Did I ever tell you how much I love opera? Really long ones. In German.

He gives another groan as she slaps him on the back and they enter the building.
Crossing Jordan Theme

End of Teaser

 

Act One


2.INT. COLLEGE THEATRE LOBBY – DAY

JORDAN and WOODY enter the building. JORDAN crosses to the box office. WOODY stands off by himself and waits. He hears a sound that is, to him, unmistakable: the sound of metal against metal. Someone is fencing. His ears perk up, and he follows the sound to:


3. INT. COLLEGE THEATRE AUDITORIUM – CONTINUING

WOODY peers inside the doors to the theatre’s auditorium. It is a small hive of activity. Actors are having measurements taken by the costumers, people are painting scenery, a few cast and crew are eating lunch. Onstage, two men are fencing, while another man watches. Intrigued, WOODY wanders down the aisle. Suddenly, one of the men watching throws down his script in overblown frustration.

FIGHT CHOREOGRAPHER
No, no, no! You say the line then thrust. Then he says his line with a riposte!

The ACTORS look at him in confusion. One of them speaks.

TODD
I thought that’s what I was doing!

FIGHT CHOREOGRAPHER
Oh, come on, do I have to do it myself? Watch…

He takes the sword from one of the actors and pushes him aside. At this point, the DIRECTOR looks up and sees WOODY.

DIRECTOR
(to WOODY, snooty)
May I help you?

All eyes turn to WOODY.

WOODY
(embarrassed at being caught)
Uh, no, sorry… I was just…

DIRECTOR
Yes?

WOODY
Well, it’s just … I was watching the fencing and… no offense, but…

FIGHT CHOREOGRAPHER
But what?

WOODY
Well… you’re holding the sabre wrong… and your feet…

FIGHT CHOREOGRAPHER
(aggressive and snotty)
I’ve been certified by the American Academy of Stage Combat. Where did you train?

Someone titters in the semi-darkened theatre. WOODY blushes a bit in embarrassment.

WOODY
I was captain of my college fencing team.

FIGHT CHOREOGRAPHER
(snickering, sarcastic)
Where? Yale Drama School?

WOODY
Kewaunee County Community College.

There’s a more audible titter.

FIGHT CHOREOGRAPHER
All right, Community College…


FIGHT CHOREOGRAPHER tosses him a sabre. WOODY catches it. It’s been a long time, but it feels good in his hand. He smiles.

FIGHT CHOREOGRAPHER (cont’d)
You’re on.


WOODY considers it for a moment. He climbs the steps from auditorium floor onto the stage. At this point, JORDAN has entered. The two men face off. WOODY is a bit rusty, and at first the FIGHT CHOREOGRAPHER gets the better of him. He almost knocks WOODY off his feet.

On guard!

FIGHT CHOREOGRAPHER (cont'd)
You were the captain of the team?


JORDAN is looking anxious for him, but WOODY gets back into it. He’s found his stride again. He’s got the other guy on the run, and is able to knock the sabre out of his hand. WOODY holds the blade on him, and the FIGHT CHOREOGRAPHER raises his hand in surrender.

FIGHT DIRECTOR retreats to lick his wounds. WOODY smiles broadly at JORDAN, who is looking at him with a mix of surprise and pride. TODD slaps him on the back.

TODD
‘Bout time someone kicked that guy’s ass.

The DIRECTOR crosses and looks at him with admiration.

WOODY
Sorry. Didn’t mean to show your guy up.

DIRECTOR
You’re very good. Are you Equity?

WOODY
No, I’m Boston PD. (beat) Maybe this Shakespeare thing isn’t so bad after all. What play is this anyway?

He picks up the script that the FIGHT CHOREOGRAPHER had earlier thrown on the stage and reads the cover.

WOODY (cont’d)
Macbeth.

There are several loud gasps. All eyes are suddenly on Woody. DIRECTOR’S eyes are wide with fear.

DIRECTOR
“Angels and ministers of grace defend us!”

An actor standing in front of WOODY suddenly turns around three times and spits over his left shoulder at Woody’s feet. There is a stunned silence. WOODY gulps.

WOODY
Was it something I said?


4. INT. MORGUE BREAK ROOM – DAY

BUG is in the break room getting coffee. NIGEL sticks his head in the door.

NIGEL
Have you seen Jordan? I have the file she was looking for.

BUG
She’s out on a call. Henry VIII apparently choked on a turkey leg.

NIGEL looks at him, eyebrow raised.

BUG
Some kind of Shakespeare Festival/Renaissance thing over at Hancock College.

NIGEL
(with excitement)
The Ren Fayre’s in town?

BUG
Ssssh! Keep it down! If Lily finds out, she’ll want to drag me and Maddie to it!

NIGEL
You don’t want to go?

BUG
Bubonic Plague, mud, and poor personal hygiene. Why would you anyone want to relive that?

NIGEL
You don’t know what you’re missing!

BUG
A weekend with Shakespeare sounds only slightly better than the Psychic Fair she dragged me to last month. But that’s like saying being beaten over the head with a crowbar is only slightly better than being eaten by coyotes.

KATE enters to pour herself a cup of coffee.


NIGEL
“Good morrow, Kate; for that’s your name, I hear.”

KATE
Excuse me?

NIGEL
“An angel is like you, Kate; and you are like an angel.”

KATE
Are you high?

NIGEL
Oh, come on, love. You know… The Shakespearean Kates! Henry IV, Henry V


He comes in close with a raised eyebrow.

NIGEL (cont’d)
The Taming of the Shrew. Shakespeare festival’s in town. You’ll feel right at home. Hamlet was the original Goth. Fancy a go, love?

KATE stifles a small smile at Nigel’s good-natured teasing about her Goth past.

KATE
Did I just hear something about being eaten by coyotes?

KATE exits and nearly collides with LILY. She’s excited and carrying a newspaper and her cell phone.

LILY
There you are! You’ll never guess… The Ren Fayre’s in town. I’m ordering tickets right now! Saturday or Sunday afternoon?

Exciting News!


BUG stammers while NIGEL smiles in amusement.

LILY (cont’d)
You do want to go, don’t you?

BUG is all befuddled gestures and points out the door.

BUG
I’ve got to… there’s a… I should…

BUG hurries out of the room. LILY watches him go.

LILY
Bug? Bug!

LILY turns back to NIGEL with an exasperated “the nerve of him” look.

NIGEL
As it just so happens, Uncle Nigel is free this weekend.


LILY stomps her foot and heads off in a huff.

CROSS FADE TO:



5. INT. MORGUE TRACE - DAY

There is a body of a young girl on the table. BUG stands looking down at her sadly. LILY enters and approaches with sympathy.

LILY
Hey. I heard you went out on a call. (beat) Suicide, huh?

BUG
Yeah. Seventeen years old. Neighbor found her in the garage with the car motor running.

LILY
Such a waste. Do we know why?

BUG
Police said there was no note.

LILY
I can’t imagine how hard that must be for the parents. At least if there was a note, if they had some idea why, it might make it a little easier…

BUG
I’m not sure anything could make this easier for a parent.

LILY and BUG share a moment of understanding. They’re both thinking the same thing – Maddie. A woman bursts in, wild-eyed, crying.

MRS. LEONARD
Where is she?

LILY
I’m sorry, ma’am….

MRS. LEONARD
Where is she? Where’s my baby?

MRS. LEONARD sees the girl on the table and crosses to her, stroking her hair and cheek. She begins to weep mournfully.

WOMAN
My baby… my precious baby…


LILY and BUG trade sympathetic looks.

CROSS FADE TO:


6. INT. MORGUE LILY’S OFFICE – DAY

MRS. LEONARD is sitting on the sofa. LILY hands her a tissue. BUG is there, too.

MRS. LEONARD
They called me at work to tell me… I didn’t believe it at first.

LILY
Mrs. Leonard, I know this is hard, but… did Heidi have a history of depression?

MRS. LEONARD
No.

LILY
Had she been upset about anything?

MRS. LEONARD
(emphatically)
No. No! Heidi wouldn’t have done this. I know it. Her boyfriend… he’d given her a ring. Sort of… pre-engagement, I guess. I know they were young, but they were so happy, so in love. He was her world.

LILY
I know something like this can be hard to accept….

MRS. LEONARD
No! She didn’t do this.. Please… you need to find the truth. She had everything to live for. It was all she could do, talk about her dream wedding… Now instead of planning her wedding, I have to plan her funeral.

She breaks down again, and LILY helps her up and guides her to the door.

LILY
I’m so sorry, Mrs. Leonard. Please… will you call me if you need anything?


MRS. LEONARD nods and leaves the room. LILY turns back to BUG.

LILY (cont’d)
That poor woman. How can you accept that your newly-engaged daughter killed herself?

BUG
Except… Heidi wasn’t wearing an engagement ring when they brought her in.


LILY and BUG exchange uh-oh looks.


7. INT. COLLEGE THEATRE AUDITORIUM – DAY

WOODY
What? What did I do?

DIRECTOR
You said… that word!

JORDAN
Uh…, I think you’re supposed to call it “The Scottish Play.” It’s apparently bad luck to say the name of the play in a theatre.

DIRECTOR
Bad luck? You’ve cursed this production!

WOODY
What? That’s ridiculous. All I did was say…

Everyone gasps. The DIRECTOR claps his hands over his ears.

DIRECTOR
Aaaaah!
WOODY
Okay! Okay! Sorry… “The Scottish Play.” My bad.

WOODY rolls eyes and climbs off the stage to join JORDAN.

WOODY (cont'd)
Sheesh. What did I tell you? Actors.

They head up the aisle. Behind them on stage, we can see one of the actors is sitting having lunch on stage with an actress, MOLLY. He begins to cough. MOLLY hits him on the back.

MOLLY
Rick? You okay?

RICK stands up and begins to stagger. He is coughing and sputtering, holding his sides in pain. He begins to cough up blood.

MOLLY
Rick?! Help him! Somebody! Call 911!

Everyone has turned in alarm towards RICK. WOODY and JORDAN rush to the stage just as Rick collapses on the edge of the stage. There is general consternation. JORDAN checks his pulse, etc. His eyes stare up lifelessly.

MOLLY
Is he… is he okay?

JORDAN looks at WOODY and shakes her head slightly. DIRECTOR eyes WOODY.

DIRECTOR
(muttering under his breath)
Cursed…


WOODY looks around sheepishly at the actors, who are eyeing him suspiciously. He gulps nervously and:

BLACKOUT


End of Act One


Act Two


8.INT. HIGH SCHOOL CLASSROOM – DAY

BUG and LILY are in an empty high school classroom. They are talking to SEAN, a nice-looking but slightly arrogant jock type. He’s wearing a varsity basketball team jacket.

SEAN
I broke it off. Asked for the ring back. I didn’t think she’d….

SEAN cuts himself off and shakes his head.

LILY
Her mom said you and Heidi were inseparable. What happened?

SEAN
She wasn’t who I thought she was.

LILY
I’m not sure what that…

SEAN
(erupting)
You really wanna know? She cheated. I saw her. We were at this party at Tony Messina’s house when his parents were out of town. I was in the backyard at the keg, and someone came out and said they saw her going upstairs, so I looked up, and I could see her in the window. There she was with some other guy. He was… god, I can’t even think about it. Then on top of everything, she lies about it! Said it wasn’t her. She was saving herself for our wedding night. What a crock.

BUG
You didn’t believe her?

SEAN
I saw her with my own eyes! I couldn’t see her face since she was… (he shudders) But it was her.

SEAN looks back and forth at BUG and LILY.

SEAN (cont’d)
Hey, it’s not my fault, okay? I never thought she’d do something crazy.


9. INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY – DAY

BUG and LILY are walking down the locker-lined hallway as they talk.

BUG
Sean’s right. I can’t believe she’d kill herself over this.

LILY
I don’t know… her mom said he was her world.

BUG
Come on! But kill herself? She was only seventeen!

LILY
That’s just it. When I was in high school, I was in love – or thought I was – with this guy from my algebra class. I even let him cheat off me during tests. Finally, I got up the nerve to ask him to the school dance, and he said yes. Later, that day I overheard him telling his buddies he thought I was a freakshow and the only reason he’d said yes was so I’d keep letting him cheat off me. I was devastated. I went home and got a bottle of my mom’s sleeping pills out of the medicine cabinet. I stood there for an hour trying to get up the courage to swallow them.

BUG
So what happened?

LILY
I came to my senses, realized he didn’t look as much like Luke Perry as I first thought, and put the pills back. When you’re seventeen, everything seems like it’s the best and worst it’s ever going to be. Maybe Heidi really thought her life was over without Sean.

BUG and LILY round the corner. They see a girl, TRICIA, putting flowers down in front of one of the lockers.

BUG
Hey!

TRICIA sees them and turns to hurry off.

LILY
Hey! We just want to talk to you! Hey!

BUG and LILY catch up to her. She looks scared.

BUG
We’re from the Medical Examiner’s office… was that Heidi Leonard’s locker?

TRICIA nods.


LILY
Did you know her?

TRICIA
She was my best friend. Look, she didn’t kill herself, okay? Trust me. If you want to know what happened, talk to that asshole Sean.

LILY
Well, we know Sean asked for the ring back. Is there something else…?

 

Plan gone awry...

TRICIA
Then find Ben Hudson. He’ll tell you what happened if he has any guts.

BUG
If you know something about Heidi’s death, you have an obligation to….

LILY shoots him a look. Let me handle this.

LILY
Here’s my card. If you can think of anything, anything at all... or if you just want to talk… will you call me?

TRICIA nods reluctantly and takes the card. She turns to go.

TRICIA
(over her shoulder, firmly)
She didn’t kill herself…

TRICIA runs off as BUG and LILY exchange looks.


10. INT. COLLEGE THEATRE AUDITORIUM – DAY

They are carting Rick’s body away. JORDAN is talking to MOLLY.

MOLLY
He had a stomach bug about a week ago. Got really sick. But then he was fine….

JORDAN
Other than the bug, had Rick been sick lately? Complaining of any other symptoms?

MOLLY
Well… he was tired. And he didn’t look so good the last couple of days. Kind of green around the gills. But he just figured it was because he’d been sick, and we’ve been rehearsing long hours.

JORDAN and MOLLY watch as they cart Rick away.

MOLLY (cont’d)
Do you think that’s what it was? The flu bug?

JORDAN shakes her head slowly. She’s baffled.

JORDAN
I don’t know…

11.INT. MORGUE AUTOPSY ONE – DAY

JORDAN has Rick on a table. She is doing some preliminary paperwork. WOODY sticks his head in the door.

WOODY
Hey, you ready for dinner?

JORDAN
Yeah, almost.

WOODY
(entering)
You think it might have been some kind of superflu?

JORDAN
I doubt it. Healthy thirty-two year olds don’t generally die of the flu.

WOODY
Why’s he green?

JORDAN
He’s cyanotic. And look at this…

JORDAN holds up an x-ray.

JORDAN
His liver is enlarged. He’s jaundiced.

WOODY
Yellow and blue make green…

JORDAN
Yup. We should know more after the autopsy.

NIGEL comes in behind Woody.

NIGEL
(gleefully)
This must be Henry VIII.

He crosses to the body.

NIGEL (cont’d)
That’s not Henry VIII…


JORDAN
No, it’s Macbeth.

NIGEL gives her a confused look.

JORDAN (cont’d)
Actor playing Macbeth at the Shakespeare festival collapsed and died during rehearsals this morning.

NIGEL
Ah, the infamous curse strikes again. (half-joking) Don’t tell me… some poor bastard said “Macbeth” inside the theatre.



WOODY
Does everyone know about this curse but me?!?!?

NIGEL
It’s part of Shakespearean lore! (beat) Did you know Macbeth is the shortest and bloodiest of Shakespeare’s plays?

JORDAN
(gleeful)
Oh, man, I saw this production once where Lady Macbeth goes to wash her hands, and blood comes gushing out of the faucet. It was like something out of The Shining!


NIGEL ooohs in appreciation.

JORDAN (cont’d)
I still don’t think Macbeth is as bloody as Titus Andronicus, though.

NIGEL
(rubbing hands together gleefully)
Ooooh! Yes! Titus!

WOODY
(lost, feeling a bit left out)
What? What’s that?

 

Duel of the Shakespeare fans

NIGEL
Titus’ daughter is ravaged by the queen’s sons. Then they cut off her hands and her tongue so she can’t name her attackers…

JORDAN
But she manages to write their names in the dirt with a stick…

NIGEL
So Titus kills the sons, bakes them in a pie, and serves them to their mother!

WOODY
Wow, sounds…

NIGEL
(interrupting)
Then there’s always Desdemona’s death scene for a good laugh…

JORDAN
Well, only if we’re going to assume asphyxia is the cause of death.

WOODY
Who’s Desda –

JORDAN
(short, almost blowing him off)
Othello smothers Desdemona because he thinks she’s been unfaithful. But she sits up and talks after she’s supposedly dead then dies again.

NIGEL
(realizes she’s on to something)
Yes… if he strangles her rather than smother her with a pillow…


JORDAN
A fractured hyoid bone could delay death.

NIGEL
You’re on to something… (beat) Oh, well. I could talk about the Bard for hours. Never mind. You had paperwork for me?

JORDAN
Yeah…

JORDAN hands him some paperwork.

NIGEL
Ta.

NIGEL starts to go.
NIGEL (cont’d)
(as he exits, dramatically)
“Parting is such sweet sorrow…”

There’s a beat while JORDAN shakes her head and watches him go, then she turns back to her work. We see WOODY has been watching the two for the entire time, looking lost and a bit insecure.

WOODY
Wow. You’re really… smart.

JORDAN
What’s that?

WOODY
I guess I always knew you were smart. And not just because you’re a doctor and you can kick my ass in Scrabble. But you’re… smart smart.

JORDAN
You’re no slouch yourself. How old were you when you passed your detective’s exam? Like twelve?

WOODY
No, I’m serious. It’s just… you… Nigel… all this stuff you know… I’m just…

He gives up and shrugs.

JORDAN
Nigel’s a freak of nature.

WOODY
This is true.

JORDAN
It’s not a big deal, Woody.


She slips her arms around him.

JORDAN (cont’d)
Come on. Let’s forget dinner. We’ll get some takeout… go back to your place… how’s that sound?

WOODY
Just no Scrabble, okay?

JORDAN
I’m sure we can think of some other games to play.

They share a kiss.

JORDAN (cont’d)
Let me change out of my scrubs. I’ll meet you by the elevators.

WOODY smiles and JORDAN exits, but we can see after she leaves that he is feeling a bit insecure about the whole thing.

 

End of Act Two

 

 

Act Three


12. INT. MORGUE LOBBY – DAY

BUG is in the lobby picking up his mail. He’s drinking coffee, but he’s yawning. NIGEL is there, too, leafing through a catalog. KATE comes through the lobby with her coat and briefcase. She’s stifling a yawn. NIGEL smiles teasingly when he sees her.

NIGEL
“Ah, you are called plain Kate, and bonny Kate, and sometimes Kate the cursed…”

KATE
(irritated)
Okay, I get it… Taming of the Shrew. Ha, ha. You can stop now.

NIGEL
“But, Kate, the prettiest Kate in Christendom, Kate of Kate Hall. Superdainty Kate.”

KATE presses the elevator button and ignores him.

NIGEL (cont’d)
“Kate! The name is music to mine ear!”

The door opens. LILY is inside and steps off as KATE steps in.

NIGEL
“Nay, come Kate come, you must not look so sour!”

KATE eyerolls as the doors slide shut. NIGEL heads off with his mail.

LILY
(to BUG)
There you are.

They share a quick kiss.

BUG
Yeah. These late shifts are hell. I just want to get out of here and pick up Maddie at the sitter’s.

LILY
You’re thinking about Heidi, aren’t you? (beat) Don’t worry. We’re going to figure this thing out.

The elevator doors open again, and a gaggle of teenage boys in varsity jackets like Sean’s steps out. They are jostling each other, strutting with bravado. One boy steps to the forefront. He is BEN.

BEN
(arrogant)
I heard somebody here wanted to talk to me.

13. INT. MORGUE CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY

BEN
Yeah. I know Sean Roberts. He’s on the basketball team with me.


BUG
Were you friends?

BEN
Friends? No. Not really. We were teammates. That’s it.

BUG
You don’t like him.

BEN
Thought he was God’s gift.

LILY
Did you know he and Heidi had broken up?

BEN
(smirks)
Yeah. I heard something about that.

BUG
You think this is funny? A girl is dead!

BEN
Hey, some of us were a little sick of that jerk strutting around like he owned the place. Mister Perfect. Captain of the basketball team… college scouts… little miss perfect girlfriend. Some of us thought he needed to be taken down a peg or two.

BUG
So…that’s what you did. You took him down a peg.

LILY
Ben… did you have something to do with Heidi’s death?

BEN
No! Nothing like that. We just…

LILY
You just…

BEN
We were at Tony Messina’s kegger. There’s this girl Jessica. Looks kind of like Heidi from the back. Same hair. She’ll do anything in pants. So, I had this idea…

LILY
It wasn’t Heidi Sean saw in the window. It was Jessica.

BUG
You son of a…

BEN
It was just a joke, okay?

BUG
Some joke! Heidi Leonard is dead!

BEN
It’s not my fault that chick offed herself! I didn’t know she was some kind of psychofreak!

BUG
I can’t even stand the sight of you.

BUG stalks off while BEN sits there looking only mildly repentant.


14. INT. MORGUE AUTOPSY ONE – MORNING

JORDAN is in autopsy with RICK/MACBETH. NIGEL enters.

JORDAN
You got that tox screen back on Macbeth yet?

NIGEL
Clean as a whistle.

JORDAN
That doesn’t make sense. Look at this….


NIGEL comes closer as JORDAN points to the open abdominal cavity.

JORDAN (cont’d)
The liver… it’s necrotic.

NIGEL
That explains the jaundice.

JORDAN
But what the hell chewed his liver up?

NIGEL
That was no stomach flu.

JORDAN
(thinking out loud)
Molly said he had a stomach bug then improved. A week later his liver is destroyed… that ring any bells?

NIGEL
Some sort of toxin that wouldn’t leave traces in the blood system. Something organic.

JORDAN
Like… wild mushrooms, maybe?

NIGEL
Amanita phalloides…death cap. Could be accidental poisoning.

JORDAN
Or not. I’ll call Woody…

She goes to the counter and calls on her cell phone.


15. INT. STORE – CONTINUING

We see a tight shot of WOODY. He’s focusing on something, head down. He answers his phone without seeing who it is.
WOODY
This’s Hoyt…

JORDAN (V/O)
Hey, it’s me. Where are you?



WOODY
I’m… uh… at the coffee shop.


The shot widens to reveal WOODY is not at the corner Starbucks, but at a bookstore, specifically in the English Lit section. He is reading a book entitled THE COMPLETE WORKS OF WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE.


16. INT. MORGUE AUTOPSY ONE – CONTINUING

JORDAN
Found something on Macbeth. Need to run more tests, but I think we’re going to want to talk to the cast and crew.

 

17. INT. STORE – CONTINUING

WOODY
I’ll meet you there.

JORDAN (V/O)
Hey, pick me up a tall half caf latte while you’re there, wouldya?

WOODY grimaces. Busted!

WOODY
Uh… sure.


WOODY frowns and stuffs the book back in the shelf. He walks a few steps away, then goes back and gets the book off the shelf again and walks away.


18. INT. COLLEGE THEATRE AUDITORIUM – DAY

WOODY is standing at the back of the theatre. There is a rehearsal going on. There is a young man on stage rehearsing a scene with a young woman. JORDAN enters. They speak in whispers so as not to disturb the stage action.

JORDAN
Sorry. Traffic.

She notices the action onstage.

JORDAN (cont’d)
Hey, I love this one.

WOODY and JORDAN turn their attention for a moment to the stage.

YOUNG MAN
“If thou would have such a one, take me: and take me, take a soldier; take a soldier, take a king: what say’st thou, then, to my love? Speak, my fair, and fairly, I pray thee.”

The scene continues. WOODY looks at JORDAN, lost.

JORDAN
(explaining)
Henry V. He’s a soldier, a little rough around the edges, not much on poetry. But he’s fallen in love with the French king’s daughter, and he’s asking her to marry him.

WOODY shrugs weakly. He hasn’t picked up anything from what the actors have been saying. JORDAN smiles at him in sympathy.

JORDAN (cont’d)
We’ll rent it on DVD sometime. Killer movie.


WOODY
Sure.

JORDAN tries to give him a smile, but the rehearsal has broken up, so he just signals from her to follow him. They head down the aisle of the theatre.

JORDAN
Hey, where’s my coffee?


WOODY stumbles around for an answer when they see MOLLY. She’s sitting in the front row, crying.

JORDAN (cont’d)
Molly… you okay?

MOLLY
(drying tears, with a rueful laugh)
Yeah, I’m just having a hard time with this. I guess I should’ve learned by now not to fall for my leading man, right?

WOODY
Were you and Rick…?

MOLLY
I have a policy against dating men during the run of a show. I’ve been burned before. But Rick and I had… feelings for each other. Who knows what might have happened… after? Now we’ll never know.

She begins to sniffle again. TODD comes out from behind the curtain. We recognize him as one of the men in the fencing scene.

TODD
Hey, Mol? Everything all right?

MOLLY
Yeah, fine, Todd.

TODD approaches and puts a protective arm around her.

TODD
You need to eat, keep your strength up. Why don’t you let me take you to lunch?

MOLLY
Yeah… sure… I’ll get my purse.

MOLLY heads off kind of in a numb haze.

TODD
Poor kid. She’s been through a tough time.

JORDAN
You’re playing Macduff, aren’t you?

TODD
Yeah! I get to off the bad guy at the end!

JORDAN
Great role.

TODD
I caught a lucky break. It’s only my second year in the main company. I had to slog for three years with the mimes and the wenches out in the Faire. Fingers crossed, next year I’ll get to play Hamlet.

WOODY
Were you and Rick friends?

TODD
Yeah, sure. Who didn’t like Rick? He was a friendly guy. (beat) Molly’s sort of… delicate right now. I know you’re probably gonna have questions for her, but… go easy, okay?

MOLLY comes back with her purse.

MOLLY
Ready…

They head up the aisle. We hear them talking.

TODD
Where you wanna go? My treat.


19.INT. COLLEGE THEATRE BACKSTAGE – DAY

JORDAN and WOODY are talking to JAKE. He’s a handsome leading-man type. He’s being measured for a costume.

JAKE
Can we make this quick? I’ve got an audition in New York for Guiding Light.

WOODY
Just a few questions, Jake.

JORDAN
Was Rick into natural foods at all? Foraging…? Organic mushrooms…?

JAKE
Rick? No way. Rick thought there were two basic food groups – beer and pizza. You think he ate some bad mushrooms?

WOODY
Just following a lead. You were Rick’s understudy, weren’t you?

JAKE
That’s right.

WOODY
Now that he’s dead, you’ll be playing the part of Macbeth.

JAKE
(warily)
Yeah…

WOODY
Pretty big part.

JAKE
What, you think I… you think I poisoned him, don’t you?

WOODY
A part like this could make a guy’s career. No more soap operas.

JAKE
No way, man. This part is huge for me, but I wouldn’t kill for it. Look, you think someone poisoned Rick, talk to the crazy props lady. You know the scene where the witches throw stuff in their witches brew?

JORDAN
Yeah… “eye of newt, toe of frog…”

JAKE
Well, she’s not using rubber spiders and snakes, that crazy old lady is using actual eye of newt! Rick parked in her parking spot one time, and she’s been giving him the evil eye and muttering about casting a real spell on him ever since.



WOODY and JORDAN give each other a look. This is getting odd.

FADE TO:


20. INT. COLLEGE THEATRE BACKSTAGE – DAY

WOODY and JORDAN approach the PROPS LADY. She is dressed sort of bizarrely in eccentric clothes, but she otherwise appears to be a kindly old lady. WOODY flashes his badge.

WOODY
Excuse me, ma’am? You’re in charge of the props, right?

PROPS LADY
Yes…

WOODY
Can we have a word with you?

PROPS LADY
I was just sorting these trick daggers from these real daggers. Wouldn’t want them to get mixed up, would we?


She titters, and WOODY and JORDAN laugh nervously.

WOODY
I understand you’re using some… unusual items for the witches’ brew.

PROPS LADY
Well… in the interest of authenticity only.

JORDAN points to the props cabinet.

JORDAN
Do you mind if I…?

PROPS LADY
No, dear. Go right ahead. I keep everything in there. Breakaway bottles, prop knives, blood…

WOODY raises an eyebrow.

PROPS LADY (cont’d)
Fake blood! Corn syrup and food coloring. Cross my heart.

JORDAN
(reading a label)
“Desiccated dog feet?” I don’t think this is even legal…

PROPS LADY
I got it at a Chinese apothecary. It makes an excellent tea for sore throats. (beat) Is this about Rick?

WOODY
You were pretty angry when he took your parking spot.


PROPS LADY gives them a sweet but somehow sinister smile.

PROPS LADY
People really shouldn’t park in handicapped spaces if they don’t have handicapped tags, should they?

JORDAN
Have you ever heard of the Death Cap mushroom?

PROPS LADY
Of course! I was using some in the spell in Act One. I thought it added a nice touch!

JORDAN
Authenticity…

PROPS LADY
That’s right!

JORDAN
Any chance those mushrooms could have ended up in the wrong hands?

PROPS LADY
That’s impossible. They’re right here.

The PROPS LADY rummages in the cabinet. She starts to get a bit frantic.

PROPS LADY
They were right here… Oh. Dear.


End of Act Three

 

Act Four


21. INT. MORGUE – AUTOPSY – NIGHT

BUG is finishing up with HEIDI’S autopsy. LILY enters.

LILY
Hey… did you find anything?

BUG
(sadly)
Cause of death: acute carbon monoxide poisoning. Manner of death: suicide.

LILY
What do we tell her mother?

BUG
That her daughter was so devastated over the loss of her boyfriend she ended her life. You know the worst thing? Sean and Ben did nothing illegal. They’re the reason a girl is dead, and they’re getting off scot free. When I think of Maddie getting sucked in by guys like that, I just…

He makes an angry but helpless gesture. LILY puts her arm around him.

LILY
I know….

EMY sticks her head in the door.

EMY
Excuse me. There’s someone here to see you. Says she was a friend of Heidi’s.

22. INT. MORGUE LILY’S OFFICE – NIGHT

TRICIA
She didn’t kill herself.

LILY
Are you saying someone… killed her?

TRICIA
(bitterly)
Yeah. Sean and Ben.


LILY and BUG trade horrified looks. TRICIA shakes her head.

TRICIA (cont’d)
No. Not really. But they might as well have.

LILY
Tricia, if you know something about Heidi’s death…

TRICIA
It was me. I did it. I talked her into it.

BUG
You talked her into killing herself?

TRICIA
I didn’t think he was worth it, but she wanted Sean back. Begged me to help her. So, I told her she needed to do something big… get his attention. Make him feel bad for dumping her.


BUG and LILY exchange looks. The story is beginning to come to light.

 

TRICIA (cont’d)
She was gonna cut her wrists, but she didn’t like the sight of blood, so that’s when I thought of the car….

LILY
Oh, Tricia…

TRICIA
(breaking down)
She was just supposed to get sick and go to the hospital! She wasn’t supposed to die! I had it all timed out! I was supposed to find her just in time, but my dad’s car wouldn’t start. By the time her neighbor found her, it was too late…


FADE TO:


23. INT. MORGUE LILY’S OFFICE – DAY

BUG and LILY are sitting with MRS. LEONARD.

MRS. LEONARD
I just wanted to come by and thank you. For everything.

LILY
You’re welcome, Mrs. Leonard.

MRS. LEONARD pulls a little chain out from under her blouse. There’s a ring on it.

MRS. LEONARD
Sean came by last night and dropped this off. Said he didn’t feel right keeping it. Heidi deserved to have it back.

LILY
It’s beautiful.

MRS. LEONARD
I think I’ll wear it for awhile. To remember her. Then I think… I’ll give it to a charity. Heidi would want that.

LILY
I think that’s a lovely idea.

MRS. LEONARD
Well, goodbye. Thank you again.


MRS. LEONARD turns to go, then notices a framed wedding photo of Bug and Lily.

MRS. LEONARD (cont’d)
Oh…you’re married! I didn’t realize. Do you have any children?

BUG
Yes, yes. We have a little girl.

BUG and LILY smile at each other warmly. MRS. LEONARD smiles back at them bittersweetly.

MRS. LEONARD
Hold on to her.

MRS. LEONARD exits, and BUG and LILY slip comforting arms around each other.


24. EXT. COLLEGE QUAD - DAY

JORDAN and WOODY are wandering around the grounds of the fayre. There are some jugglers and wenches roaming around. JORDAN is enjoying herself. WOODY isn’t.

WOODY
Jordan… what are we doing here?

JORDAN
I told you… I’m… doing research. Trying to get inside the mind of a killer.

WOODY
No, you’re not! You’re enjoying this!

JORDAN
So?

WOODY
So, you made me flash my badge to get in here! That’s cheating!

JORDAN
All right, all right. We’ll at least pay for lunch. How’s that?

25. EXT. FOOD TENT – DAY

JORDAN and WOODY are moving through the food line. There are serving wenches behind the counters. One of them looks familiar. It is one of HENRY VIII’s wives from the beginning. She looks bored.

WOODY
(to JORDAN)
Plastic forks and knives. Very authentic.

WIFE #1
Hey… you’re that cop.

WOODY
Yeah?

WIFE #1
I’m Anne of Cleves. One of Henry VIII’s wives?


WOODY
Oh, yeah. So you got busted back down to serving wench?

WIFE #1
Yeah… back to the kitchen. Jeez, I actually had lines this season before Henry croaked. I’ll never make it into the Shakespeare company at this rate.

JORDAN
No thanks to a turkey leg.

WOODY points to the food.

WOODY
So, what do we got?

WIFE #1
For $7.50 you can get a hot dog and a soda or for $25.00 you can get the full Renaissance experience – turkey with chestnut and wild mushroom stuffing.

WOODY
Wild mushrooms?

JORDAN
Thanks, we’ll pass.

WIFE #1
No, it’s okay. They make us go through training. How to recognize authentic species of heritage mushrooms. The cook takes it very seriously.

JORDAN
Does everyone have to go through the training?

WIFE #1
Yeah… we all start in the kitchen then work our way up.

JORDAN and WOODY look at each other and take off at a fast pace. WIFE watches them go, puzzled.

26. INT. COLLEGE THEATRE AUDITORIUM – DAY

The theatre is all abuzz. There are last minute costume fittings taking place, some of the actors are running lines together. WOODY and JORDAN enter.

DIRECTOR
Ten minutes to places for dress rehearsal, everyone! We open in twenty-four hours!

WOODY
(to JAKE)
I’m looking for Todd.

JAKE
Backstage, I think.


WOODY and JORDAN take off.


27. INT. COLLEGE THEATRE BACKSTAGE – DAY

MOLLY and TODD are tucked away in a corner of the backstage. MOLLY is sad and TODD is trying to comfort her, but she isn’t pleased. As we move closer, we can hear them.

MOLLY
Todd, I’m not real comfortable with this.

TODD
What…? I thought….

MOLLY
You know I don’t date men in the cast anymore. Not after what happened between us last season.

TODD
I don’t understand….

MOLLY
What don’t you understand? We can only be friends, Todd. When it didn’t work out with us, things just got too weird.

TODD
But we’re over that now. I’m here for you.

MOLLY
(getting angrier)
No! It’s not gonna happen!

TODD
But I thought… with Rick out of the way….

MOLLY
What?! How can you even say that?

WOODY and JORDAN come from around the corner. TODD looks at them, stunned. He suspects he’s been caught.

WOODY
Todd…

TODD panics. He grabs MOLLY and she shrieks as he shields himself with her. WOODY draws his gun, and TODD grabs a knife from the table and holds it at her throat.

TODD
Stay back! I’ll do it!

JORDAN
It’s a prop knife…

TODD
Are you sure about that? That old lady can’t keep anything straight.

TODD presses the knife a bit into her throat and she cries out in fear. It appears to be a real knife.

WOODY
Just drop it, Todd. You don’t want to do this. Put the knife down.

JORDAN
Come on, Todd. You don’t want to hurt Molly. You love her.

TODD
And what did she do with my love? Threw it back in my face. Flirted with every other guy in the cast. Draped herself all over Rick. Rick. Two-bit hack. Do you know how it felt seeing him with his hands all over her?

WOODY
Okay, Todd. Easy… just put the knife down.

TODD
If I can’t have her, then no one can have her.

TODD presses the knife closer. MOLLY shrieks.

JORDAN
No, Todd!

We hear a crashing sound. It’s the PROPS LADY. She has smashed a heavy glass bottle over TODD’S head. He collapses to the ground. PROPS LADY stands there smiling sweetly with the jagged edge of a bottle. WOODY and JORDAN stare at her in amazement.

PROPS LADY
I never did like those breakaway bottles. No authenticity.


28. INT. MORGUE TRACE - EVENING

NIGEL and JORDAN are working in trace. They talk as they work.

NIGEL
Okay…”Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war.”

JORDAN
Come on, you’re throwing grapefruits! Julius Caesar. “If music be the food of love, play on.”

NIGEL
Romeo and Juliet?

JORDAN
Please! That was a total gimmee! Twelfth Night!

WOODY enters.

WOODY
Hey.

JORDAN
Hey.

NIGEL
“Oh, then I see Queen Mab hath been with you…”

JORDAN
Romeo and Juliet. Mercutio. “Oh, brave new world that hath such things in it.”

NIGEL
Tempest.

WOODY
I got one. “To be or not to be. That is the question.”


JORDAN and WOODY look at him – you gotta be kidding.

NIGEL & JORDAN
Hamlet.

NIGEL
“A house divided against itself shall not stand.”

JORDAN
Uh… Henry IV?

NIGEL
That was in fact a trick question. It’s from the Bible and Lincoln quoted it in the Gettysburg Address.

WOODY
(joking)
You know, I used to think Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address was where he lived during the Civil War.

JORDAN laughs weakly and then turns her attention back to NIGEL. WOODY’S face falls. He slowly backs out of trace as NIGEL and JORDAN continue their game.

NIGEL
“I will live in thy heart, die in thy lap, and be buried in thy eyes.”

JORDAN
Much Ado. Okay, here’s one….


WOODY is gone.

29. EXT. MORGUE ROOFTOP - EVENING

WOODY is on the rooftop, lost in thought and feeling very sorry for himself. JORDAN enters.

JORDAN
Hey…

WOODY
(cool)
Hey.

JORDAN
You just walked out without saying anything. What was that about?

WOODY
Nothing. I just…

JORDAN
What is it?

WOODY
(erupting)
I can’t quote Shakespeare, Jordan. I can’t rattle off scientific terms in Latin. I don’t know the Mona Lisa from “Dogs Playing Poker.” I went to community college and then got my BA from some podunk University of Wisconsin night school satellite program in Kewaunee.

JORDAN
You went to community college so you could save money, and you went to night school so you could work as a sheriff’s deputy by day and support Cal. There’s no shame in any of that.

WOODY
That’s easy for you to say. You went to a real college. You’ve got an MD.

JORDAN
(exasperated)
So what? You think a college degree means everything? Have you seen some of the boneheads they’ll give a BA to? Some of them on Capitol Hill.

WOODY
Still. Sometimes I wonder… maybe… you’d should be with somebody… smarter.

JORDAN
(speechless)
What are you…?

She shakes her head, stunned.

WOODY
Someone you can take to the symphony. Who knows how to order the right wine. Someone who won’t embarrass you at those professional dinners you go to.

JORDAN
You know, I never took you for the self-pitying type.

WOODY
What?

JORDAN
All this… I’m not good enough bullshit. I love you. You. The guy with bad ties and worse puns. The guy who’ll actually go back and tell the cashier she’s given him too much change. The guy who made me laugh so hard at breakfast this morning, milk came out my nose. That’s the guy I want to spend my life with. If you think any different, you’ve got a lot to learn about me. And yourself.

She strides off firmly. WOODY watches her go. Then his face changes and he calls out to her as she reaches the door.

WOODY
Hey, Jordan…


She turns to him, not sure what to expect.

WOODY (cont’d)
About the play tonight…

There’s a beat. JORDAN frowns, still unsure what he’s going to say. Is it good or bad…?

WOODY (cont’d)
I’ve got some errands to run after work. You mind if I meet you there?

JORDAN smiles with relief.

JORDAN
Don’t be late, Farmboy.


They smile at each other as JORDAN exits.


30. INT. MORGUE LOBBY – EVENING

NIGEL enters the lobby to pick up a package. He sees JORDAN stepping into the elevator as doors slide shut.

JORDAN
Night, Nige.

NIGEL
Off to the theatre then? I want a detailed review on Monday.

Doors close as KATE enters lobby and heads towards the elevator.

NIGEL
“Why there’s a wench. Come on and kiss me, Kate.”

KATE
Jeez, is that what it’s gonna take?

As the elevator doors part, she grabs him by the back of the head and plants a long, hot kiss on him. She lets him go, and he topples backwards, stunned. She steps on the elevator nonchalantly as the doors slide shut. NIGEL is dumbfounded.

NIGEL
(softly, numbly)
“There’s witchcraft in your lips, Kate…”


End of Act Four

 

Act Five


31. INT. CAMPUS THEATRE AUDITORIUM – NIGHT

It is opening night. There are a few people running around on stage doing last minute things. There is excitement in the air. WOODY and JORDAN are talking to MOLLY and DIRECTOR.

STAGE MANAGER
Twenty minutes to places, everyone!

JORDAN
You okay? I can’t believe you’re actually going on tonight after all you’ve been through.

MOLLY
(with sadness in her eyes)
Well, you know what they say. The show must go on. I want to thank you for everything you did… for Rick. And me.

JORDAN
Thank the props lady.

DIRECTOR
(dramatically)
Now that Rick’s soul is at rest, perhaps the curse can be lifted.

WOODY
Oh, come on, you don’t really believe that stuff, do you?

In the background we hear a loud crash. An ACTOR is lying on the ground in pain at the foot of a set of onstage stairs.

ACTOR
(moaning in pain)
My leg! I think it’s broken!

DIRECTOR looks at WOODY with a raised eyebrow.

DIRECTOR
The show must go on…

WOODY looks back and forth to the ACTOR to DIRECTOR. His eyes widen as he gets what the man is suggesting.

WOODY
Oh, no… NO!


SHARP CUT TO:


32. INT. COLLEGE THEATRE BACKSTAGE – NIGHT

WOODY is standing backstage in typical Shakespearean costume. He is holding his sword and looking quite nervous. JORDAN enters the backstage area looking around for Woody. She smiles. She catches his eye, and he smiles nervously. She crosses to him, feeling proud but a bit nervous for him.

JORDAN
Hey! You look… great.

WOODY
Are you kidding me? I feel ridiculous.

JORDAN
No…

WOODY
They’re making me wear this thing – they call it a “dance belt,” but I’m telling you it’s a thong. I got fabric stuck in parts of my body where fabric should never go.

He tugs uncomfortably at his wedgie.

JORDAN
Well, I think you look great.


He sees that she’s serious and smiles back at her.

JORDAN (cont’d)
You got your lines down?

WOODY
Yeah. All three of ‘em.

JORDAN
Wow. You’re really going to do this.

WOODY
Too late to back out now. Anything to get squared away with this whole “curse” thing. You think I want that hanging over my head?

JORDAN
I’m really… proud of you. Not just for this. For everything.

STAGE MANAGER
Places, everyone!

JORDAN
Break a leg.


WOODY kisses her and runs into place. She smiles and watches him go.

CROSS FADE TO:


33. INT. COLLEGE THEATRE AUDITORIUM – NIGHT

The theatre is darkened – the performance is on. We see JORDAN in the audience watching the action. Voices are heard on stage. Cut to the stage, where we see JAKE playing MACBETH on an stage, carrying his sword.

JAKE/MACBETH
What’s he that was not born of woman? Such a one am I to fear, or none!

WOODY comes on stage, dressed in his YOUNG SIWARD costume, carrying his sword.

WOODY
What is thy name?

JAKE/MACBETH
My name’s Macbeth.

WOODY
The devil himself could not pronounce a title more hateful to my ear.

JAKE/MACBETH
No, nor more fearful.

WOODY
Thou liest, abhorred tyrant; with my sword I’ll prove the lie thou speaks’t!


CROSS FADE TO:

34. INT. COLLEGE THEATRE AUDITORIUM – NIGHT

It is time for the curtain call. WOODY is taking a bow with the rest of the cast. The audience is cheering.

JORDAN
Bravo!


WOODY smiles down at her and winks.

CUT TO:

35. INT. STAGE – NIGHT

The Wooing of Katherine - Henry V Soundtrack

MUSIC: “THE WOOING OF KATHERINE” Henry V Original Motion Picture Soundtrack

JORDAN enters the darkened theatre. There is only a thin stream of light on the stage. She walks down the aisle.

JORDAN
Woody? You in here?

WOODY (V/O)
“I know no ways to mince it but directly to say, ‘I love you.’“

JORDAN turns to where the voice is coming from. We see WOODY step out from behind the curtain onto the bare stage. He looks nervous and a bit bashful. She smiles at him curiously, and he takes a few steps out onto center stage to where there’s a single spotlight shining.

WOODY (cont’d)
“If I could win a lady at leap-frog, or by vaulting into my saddle with my armour on my back, I should quickly leap into a wife, but when I come to woo ladies, I fright them.”

JORDAN
Woody?

She walks down to the edge of the stage. He clears his throat, takes a deep breath and goes on, haltingly.

WOODY
“I have neither words nor eloquence. I speak to thee a plain soldier. If thou can love me for this, take me.”


Her face changes… she knows exactly where this is going. Drawn by his words, she goes up the steps to the stage, tears in her eyes, and walks toward him.

WOODY (cont’d)
“A good leg will fall; a straight back will stoop; a black beard will turn white: but a good heart is the sun, for it shines bright and never changes. If thou would have such a one, take me: and take me, take a… farmboy; take a farmboy, take a… cop. What say’st thou?”

Will you marry me?

She smiles through tears as he gets down on one knee before her. He reaches into his pocket and pulls a ringbox out.

WOODY (cont’d)
Will you marry me?

She smiles broadly and brushes at her happy tears with one hand while he slips the ring on her left hand. They stand there in an embrace, hugging and kissing. An audience of two.

FADE TO END CREDITS

 

The End

 

Next time on Crossing Jordan:

"Holy Water"



free tracking