“Crossing Jordan Virtual Season 7” is a
fan-based effort not intended to infringe on the rights of Tailwind Productions,
NBC/Universal or any of the other copyright holders of “Crossing Jordan.”
No money was made from the writing or posting of any content.
Detective Woodrow “Woody” Hoyt
Mahesh “Bug” Vijayaraghavensatanaryanamurthy
Charles LeRoy, victim hockey player
Girouard, hockey player who slashes LeRoy
Dr. Tim Williamson, Bruins’ team doctor, old friend of Jordan’s
Ron Sherry, Bruins’ scout
Player 1, Bruins’ player
Player 2 , Bruins’ player
Suit 1, Executive in Bruins’ organization
Suit 2 , Executive in Bruins’ organization
Ryan Smyth, LeRoy’s roommate
Eileen Jardin, LeRoy’s mother
TD BANKNORTH GARDEN
HALL OUTSIDE BRUINS’ LOCKER ROOM
BRUINS’ LOCKER ROOM
The lights are all on and The Hockey Song is playing.
2.INT. HOCKEY ARENA - CONTINUING
Wide shot of the Interior of the hockey arena. Bruins vs. Canadians. Camera
sweeps crowd. It closes in on JORDAN and WOODY among a crazy bunch of Bruins
fans on their feet, hands in the air and cheering after a goal. They sit back
Who’s that guy in the face off? I thought Lindoff was on that line.
I can’t see – Oh, that’s New Guy! Lindoff is on the DL with a dislocated shoulder. Charlie LeRoy, he’s a goon.
She pauses to have a gulp of Sam Adams.
His goal scoring is crap, but when he’s on, the other guys do better. Look, he won the face off, he’s chasing them down the ice. (yelling) Hurry up, you idiot! What the hell…? He can’t even keep up.
We see LEROY going after the Canadian offence; he smashes his opponent into the boards. Cut back to JORDAN and WOODY making ‘that’s gotta hurt’ faces. Cut back to the ice. Slow motion, a Canadian player rushes in, stick dangerously high. Close up of back of LEROY’S neck, as stick connects. Cut back to JORDAN.
JORDAN (hand over mouth)
Cut back to ice. LEROY is flat out on the ice in the corner, face down, not moving. The team doctors are trying to talk to him. Close-up of DOCTOR’S face calling LEROY’S name. Pan back and we see him taking LEROY’S pulse. A cold look comes over him. The team carefully turns LEROY over. He has the dead eye thing. The DOCTOR looks up in shock. As he starts CPR, he happens to see JORDAN pressing against the glass.
Cavanaugh! Get your ass over here!
JORDAN climbs over to the box where she can get through and jumps onto the ice.
Tim. What the hell happened?
DR. TIM is slightly breathless as he continues CPR.
Hey, Jordan. Long time since Tufts, huh? Did you see the hit?
Yeah, Girouard’s stick clipped the back of LeRoy’s neck.. I’ve seen worse…
Huh. Bad enough.
She takes a look and is startled to discover LEROY is dead. Woody comes up behind them
Hey, Jordan, what the hell…?
He stops cold as he recognizes the death stare.
DR. TIM looks at WOODY while he continues CPR.
JORDAN’S trying to explore LEROY’S neck, but the helmet’s in the way.
Uh… (gathers himself) Detective Woody Hoyt, BPD. I hate to tell ya, Doc, but I think it’s too late….
DR. TIM looks around as he still continues CPR.
They don’t need to see us remove a dead man…
JORDAN (glances around)
Oh, right. (loud whisper) With the helmet on I can’t find anything. Just keep up the fake CPR.
The gurney pulls up with ATTENDANTS.
Here comes the gurney. OK, 1,2,3!
LEROY is hoisted to the gurney; WOODY and JORDAN help. We cut to the point of
view of the deceased. Camera is on the gurney, angled toward the feet. We follow
the gurney through doors at the arena and suddenly we’re in the morgue. His
feet turn one way, camera continues another.
3. INT. MORGUE RECEPTION - CONTINUING
Wiggle and Learn - The Wiggles
We see LILY beside the reception desk, holding MADDY, trying to get keys out
of her purse at the same time. BUG is making faces at MADDY. NIGEL is looking
at a file with EMY behind the desk. We hear ‘The Wiggles’ singing joyfully about
OK, at 9:30 we had Mommy and Me, at 11 we did the Sweet Swimmers class, then Gymboree at 4. Tonight we’re going to have a quiet evening with the Baby Einstein videos.
NIGEL (looks up)
Isn’t that rather a lot for a child of her tender age?
Since when did you know anything about children?
NIGEL (scoffs right back)
I used to be one.
BUG (ignores NIGEL)
It’s important to expose Maddy to as much enrichment as we can. Everything we involve her in has a specific purpose.
LILY looks a little cynical, but she’s still behind it.
Babies have survived for millennia without Gymboree or
Now we know better! These are her most important developmental moments.
He puts an arm around LILY, who has an impatient expression. She fishes her
car keys out of her purse while speaking under her breath.
Important. Yeah, important and tiring.
MADDY starts to cry. LILY exhales deeply, takes the child and the car keys, throws purse over her shoulder and leaves. Before the elevator doors close she leans against the wall and closes her eyes. NIGEL looks concerned, but BUG doesn’t notice LILY’S agitation.
Oh, Lily, wait!
He rushes to the elevator, holding the door open.
Here’s her day timer. Can’t lose that, can we?
Yeah, can’t lose that….
BUG steps backward out of the elevator, waving at MADDY but still oblivious
that LILY is reaching the bottom of the barrel.
END OF TEASER
Crossing Jordan Theme
4.INT. MORGUE – AUTOPSY ONE - MORNING
LEROY is on the table. JORDAN is suited up, with NIGEL assisting. They haven’t
started the autopsy yet. WOODY is waiting nearby, dressed for work (badge and
gun and hot jeans) with his notebook open.
The wife is flying in from Montreal. I hear there’s also a bunch of heart-broken puck bunnies around Boston. (closes notebook) Walcott’s thinking about charging Girouard with manslaughter. (scoffs) LeRoy knew the risk, he signed the waiver.
JORDAN shakes her head.
JORDAN (quiet, confused)
The thing is, he shouldn’t have died. Girouard hit him, but not that hard.
NIGEL (looks down in pity)
Ah, the modern day gladiator. The pugilist, performing his brutal sport for the raving masses, voyeurs all, hungry for a show of human pain and suffering, a true picture of how far our society has fallen…
Nigel – did you get anything from tox?
NIGEL looks a bit put out that his wonderful oration has been cut short.
Nothing out of the ordinary yet, but we’re running more tests. Professional athletes sometimes like to push the boundaries with a little chemical enhancement.
So, could ‘chemical enhancement’ cause him to – die more easily from a high stick?
It’s possible he did something to his bone structure, or maybe the muscles. We’ll know more when we’re done tox.
She takes an appreciative look at the professional athlete’s physique.
On second thought, the muscle tone looks just fine to me.
WOODY stands up and joins her, trying not to look insulted.
Well, if you like over-grown, muscle-bound goons. They’re worse than ‘pretty boys’.
Don’t worry Woods, I prefer the living.
She pats his cheek playfully and moves to LEROY’S head.
Glad you’ve got such high standards. Let me know when you get COD for ‘muscle tone boy’!
He turns and leaves in a little huff.
Um, I’m not sure, but aren’t loving couples supposed to be more (beat) loving?
JORDAN gives NIGEL a look which says mind his own business, while she examines the head.
NIGEL (cont’d) (smiles, unapologetic)
Sorry, Luv, I can’t sit on the sidelines. I worry about you two.
You don’t need to. I’m wearing his ring. We made it, OK?
There is a beat as she investigates his head.
This skull is shattered back here….
NIGEL (peeking over her shoulder)
I thought you said the high stick wasn’t severe? It looks like this bloke was hit with a sledge hammer.
Well, preliminary cause of death is definitely blunt force trauma. His skull… exploded under his helmet.
She gives an annoyed glance down the hall after WOODY.
I’ll go tell Woody.
I’ll tell him. (winks) After all, absence makes the heart grow fonder.
No, I’ll go. I’ll have to suck up to him a bit – he’s sensitive about ‘muscle tone’ issues.
NIGEL (fake sniff)
My little rebel is all grown up!
JORDAN (dry smile)
Yeah. I’ll be back in a minute.
FADE TO BLACK.
5.INT. HALL OUTSIDE BRUINS’ LOCKER ROOM – LATE MORNING
WOODY and JORDAN are ‘discussing’ whether JORDAN should go in with WOODY.
WOODY (pinching bridge of nose)
Jordan, do you try to make my life difficult? I mean, in the morning before you get up, do you go over a list of ways to ‘get’ Woody?
It isn’t game day, so there’s nobody here. Besides, I’m a doctor, remember? There’s nothing in there I haven’t seen a thousand times before.
Jordan. I’m glad you’re comfortable with the human body, really I am…
WOODY sighs and takes her hands.
… but the thought of my future wife seeing professional athletes undressed,
live professional athletes, well, I want you to myself.
(steps closer) Do you see?
JORDAN (closes eyes briefly, sighs)
OK, OK. I’m – I still don’t think - (beat) what if I let you check first. Would that be good enough?
Thank you, Jordan. That would be good.
He wraps his arms around her and kisses her.
You know, I think we just compromised. Without a huge fight.
Just don’t tell anyone. I got a reputation to maintain.
Cut to them in the locker room together. DR. TIM is there.
Hey, Tim. How you holding up?
DR. TIM (looks tired)
Sports Medicine doesn’t usually involve pronouncing death.
Huh! My job doesn’t involve anything but death. We ended up at opposite ends of the profession, didn’t we?
WOODY (clears throat, interrupting)
Um, Dr. Tim, Is it?
Oh, yeah, you’re Jordan’s friend – didn’t you say homicide? (sly smile) Geez Jordan, I knew you were a loose cannon, but homicide?
You don’t know the half of it.
WOODY glances at TIM, small blush.
He turns to JORDAN with an amused expression.
DR. TIM (cont’d)
You? You’re getting married? (beat) I never figured you for the nuptial type.
I’ve grown. I even do yoga now.
Yoga? Good Lord, the pigs are flying all over the place!
I, uh, hate to interrupt this little reunion, but we’re trying to find out why a healthy hockey player dropped dead in the middle of a game.
DR. TIM (makes the connection)
You… think it was homicide?
The damage was too severe. The back half of his skull shattered. We were wondering if he was using, or if someone put something in the Gatorade.
He got nothing from me. (shakes his head) Of course, these kids are under a lot of pressure... We do testing, but there are ways around it.
Did he have any enemies?
DR. TIM (eyebrows raised.)
You’re kidding right? He was a goon. Goons have one purpose in life, to protect the star centre.
You’re right, millions of people wanted his blood.
Were any of them serious?
He shrugs and looks to WOODY.
DR. TIM (cont’d)
I guess that’s what keeps you in business, isn’t it Detective?
Good point. So tell me, which one is his locker?
WOODY walks over, starts going through the things.
Uh, do you know anything about his personal life? Did he have a roommate? Girlfriends?
He had girls. I don’t think you’d call any of them a girlfriend, though.
JORDAN and WOODY glance at each other.
DR. TIM (cont’d)
He has a wife back in Montreal. When he’s in Boston, he lives in an apartment with an old buddy from his junior days.
Got that address?
Business office is upstairs. They can help you with that kind of information.
WOODY turns from the locker and gives TIM a card.
Thanks, Doc. If you think of anything that might help, call me.
Sure, anytime. Look, I gotta go. Will you be OK here on your own?
Thanks Tim, yeah, we’re fine.
She smiles and kisses his cheek before he leaves. WOODY’S eyebrow raises but he says nothing about it. WOODY looks around, rummaging in LEROY’S locker.
OK, what are we looking for?
He turns back to the room. Two well-built, young hockey players come in, obviously
from the shower, PLAYER 1 with towel around his waist; PLAYER 2’S towel over his
She glance sideways at WOODY, who turns around, his eyes bugging out.
Hey! do you mind?
He tries to cover JORDAN’S eyes with his hands and notebook.
PLAYER 1 (smirks at WOODY)
Sorry, but we don’t get many women in here.
Especially hot ones like your friend.
He pulls towel from shoulder and wraps around himself, but none too quickly.
JORDAN turns her back.
Don’t worry, I won’t peek.
WOODY (to JORDAN)
I told you this was a bad idea!
I’ll wait for you outside.
She waves over shoulder without turning around.
Nice ‘seeing’ you!
There is a close up of JORDAN, still smiling, walking out. You can see the two
players over her shoulder laughing. WOODY is pinching the bridge of his nose
TWO SUITS are seated, one behind the desk, one at the side. WOODY and JORDAN
are in the other two chairs.
WOODY (settling into his chair)
Thank you, gentlemen. We won’t take too much of your time, we just have a few questions.
SUIT 1 (seated to one side)
If our cooperation can in any way facilitate your investigation, Detective, by all means, we are at your disposal.
WOODY and JORDAN share a cynical look: clearly a bureaucrat on auto-pilot.
We’re still determining cause of death. We need to know if he was taking drugs…
Here at the Bruins organization, we have a strict regimen of drug testing. We absolutely believe that the use of performance enhancing drugs is a detriment to-
WOODY gets impatient and interrupts, writing in his notebook:
‘The organization denies knowledge of drug use.’ Fine. How about enemies.
SUIT 2 sits behind the desk. He has a wry, patronizing laugh.
If I were to start writing a list, it’d take all day.
He leans forward on his elbows.
SUIT 2 (cont’d)
LeRoy was a big, strong man, but his hockey skills… You may have heard the term, ‘enforcer.’
Yeah, ‘goon’. When his line’s on, the other team gets hurt and your boys score. This was only LeRoy’s second season with you, but he makes Todd Bertuzzi look like the tooth fairy.
WOODY is pleased to let her mouth off this time. THE SUITS are surprised. They had wanted to be in control of this interview.
Let’s cut the crap! Besides everyone he hurt on the ice, did anyone hate him? Was he a jackass off the ice? Did he piss people off?
SUIT 1 (takes breath)
Well… since you seem aware of the finer points of the… physicality of our game… I’d have to say that he had a certain… flair for angering people…
(clearly the “man”)
The lady said cut the crap.
His face changes as he regards JORDAN.
SUIT 2 (cont’d)
If any of what I’m about to say gets out, I’ll deny it.
He sighs and there is a beat as he leans back.
SUIT 2 (cont’d)
He was a nice guy. We didn’t want anyone to know that, ‘cause his reputation as a thug was putting butts in the seats.
So… he was going to make you money.
So… we wouldn’t want him dead. Or hurt.
He grabs a notepad and pen and writes four names on it before he gives it to
SUIT 2 (cont'd)
Here are some names for ya. He never hurt anybody; the guys he took down
were only in the hospital for ‘observation’. It’s the guys that got passed
over when we called him up – they’re the angry ones.
JORDAN (to SUIT 2 only)
Do you know anything about his home life?
Yeah, damn shame. His wife’s expecting.
WOODY and JORDAN share a look.
Do you have a… a gut feeling?
He likes this guy’s straightforward manner. SUIT 2 pauses and looks out the window and then back at WOODY.
You’ll find the top of that list is a young player from the triple A team, LeRoy’s roommate. The kid just didn’t make it, but him and LeRoy were drinkin’ buddies. Played together in juniors. When LeRoy got called up, this kid goes on a bender. He emailed me – let’s just say he’s a sore loser.
Do you still have that email?
Yep. I make it a habit to keep death threats.
He turns to his computer, hits a bunch of buttons, then prints a page. He hands the paper to WOODY.
Thanks for your help…
Nah, don’t thank me. (sad smile) We’re getting a ton of publicity from this, the pencil necks are all havin’ a party. (looks at SUIT 1) Seems the longer it takes, the better for the bottom line.
He leans forward again, regretfully shaking his head, makes eye contact with WOODY.
SUIT 2 (cont’d)
Detective, find out what happened to him. If we can help, call me.
He gives them a card.
WOODY stands and they shake hands.
Thank you, sir. I’ll call when we know anything.
8. INT. MORGUE BREAK ROOM - AFTERNOON
MADDY is on a booster seat, chomping on Cheerios from a snack box. LILY’S at
the table as well as BUG who’s holding a daytimer. NIGEL is watching MADDY,
trying to teach her to throw the Cheerios, when BUG’S not looking. JORDAN walks
in, followed closely by WOODY.
NIGEL (looks up)
Hey. Did you see anything at the Gardens?
JORDAN (smirks at WOODY)
Yeah, you could say that.
WOODY (blushes, rolls eyes).
You’re killing me, Jordan.
BUG AND LILY exchange questioning glance, shrug.
No, there wasn’t much out of the ordinary, but this email may be useful.
She hands it to NIGEL; and pours coffee for herself and one for WOODY; looking apologetic, she offers it to him looking apologetic. WOODY reluctantly accepts the peace offering. They listen while NIGEL reads the email aloud.
You… (glances at MADDY) ‘expletive deleted’… idiots missed out.
You ass… arse-holes don’t know good hockey from your (looks around) er…
bottom. You … you suck. What the H – E – double hockey-sticks are you thinking?
I skate faster than that jack… you know, I got a better average, I could
kill you da… darned fools, you know that? I will… ‘expletive once again
deleted … kill you!
Whoa, that’s a guy with a truckload of motive!
BUG shakes his head as he gazes at MADDY’S innocent face.
And a truckload of foul language.
I don’t know… it just doesn’t feel right.
Feelings aren’t helping. (sips her coffee) Let’s look at the body again. Here’re four names to search.
She hands NIGEL the list, beckons to WOODY and bustles out. The men look at each other, not sure they’re comfortable being summoned, decide there are worse fates in the world than to be ordered about by JORDAN CAVANAUGH, and follow her.
LILY (trying to settle MADDY)
Maybe she’s getting sick.
No, she’s not teething, there’s no fever… the doctor said everything’s fine.
She looks worried as she tries to hug the squirming toddler.
Are you sure we’re not over-doing it? She’s still so small.
BUG puts hand on LILY’S shoulder.
Don’t worry, Lily. We’ve done our research. We’re well organized, she has appropriate periods of rest, quality time with us, even time to bond with Jeffrey – it’s perfect!
LILY is still struggling with MADDY.
I’m just tired all the time, and she’s getting so fussy-
It’s a transitional stage. We prepared for this, remember? We need to respond with a healthy, well organized routine, just like we’re doing!
LILY (dubious smile)
Yeah, maybe that’s it.
BUG takes MADDY, but she isn’t settled. LILY is looking skeptical and tired.
Wow, that’s the first time you haven’t been able to calm her down!
LILY and BUG look at each other.
FADE TO BLACK AND WE STILL HEAR FUSSY TODDLER NOISES.
END OF ACT ONE
9. INT. NIGEL’S OFFICE - AFTERNOON
WOODY, JORDAN and NIGEL are sitting around NIGEL’S computer. NIGEL is tapping
away, performing his usual magic.
OK, credit cards, bank records…
At first blush… nothing unusual. No large withdrawals, no huge cheques, no big charges.
Nothing that looks like a drug purchase.
NIGEL (shakes head)
If he was using drugs, it was the bargain basement variety.
Or he was getting it some other way. Maybe a trainer…
Hard to say at this point. When tox comes back we can look into it. What about the list from the business officer… (looks at paper) Right, four possibles. The lad’s roommate – Smyth, is it? (a few taps). Right. He works at the TD Banknorth Garden. Icemaker. (beat) Can you imagine selling the naming rights of a building? (smiling) I mean, what if we did that here? Starbucks Morgue… Morgue-Mart… Oh, I know – the Target Building!
He looks at JORDAN, then WOODY, sees their flat expressions.
Uh, sorry… just a little morgue humour there…
He clears his throat.
JORDAN (rolls her eyes)
So, Smyth gets to drive the Zamboni?
Yeah, apparently. He’s got a clean criminal record… nothing out of the ordinary. Of course as roommate he has the most access. Who are the other possibles… (looks at list). Wife? What motive would the wife have?
Mr. LeRoy seemed to enjoy a little extra-curricular bonding with the local female population. Didn’t have one particular girlfriend, but he was a busy man.
Takes two, Luv!
Yeah, those women don’t know yet that their personal pleasure is bought at a price. Nothing is free. Believe me.
Oh, this sounds like a good bed-time story, do tell!
JORDAN shoots him the look of death.
Moving right along, would it be possible for the wife to be involved if she lives so far away?
One can purchase anything for the right price, including instant widowhood. She probably wasn’t directly involved with him on the road. It would seem the Mrs. stays home. Look at these expenses, all Montreal…
There is a pause while he taps a few seconds.
I’ll look into it. (makes notes) What about these other two?
They’re both minor-league hockey players, don’t even live in Boston anymore. If anyone had motive to get him out of the way, I’d say we need to look at the roommate and the wife. We also have to rule out self-medication.
I don’t think this one’s gonna turn out to be self-inflicted.
Yeah, your gut feeling.
Hey, my gut’s usually right!
My gut’s quite famished. Shall we? We can’t do much else ‘til tox comes back anyway.
Dibs on the peanut butter!
The Hockey Song - Stompin' Tom Connors
10. INT. CONFERENCE ROOM – LATE AFTERNOON
JORDAN and WOODY are seated across the table from the BRUINS TEAM SCOUT. He’s
wearing a colourful shirt and loud tie. You know the type…
Thank you for coming in, Mr. Sherry. We just have a few questions…
Hey, no problem. I’d do anything for these boys. Tough as nails, I tell ya. No pansy-asses on my team, no sir!
You first scouted LeRoy. What drew you to him?
The kid had the fire. I tell ya, six foot, 300 pound defensemen would bounce right off LeRoy. Ya know, hockey is a tough game, a man’s game. This kid was a man’s man, a real tough guy. Steel in his veins!
Do you think he had anything else in his veins?
SCOUT (voice raised)
Are you suggesting that one of my boys broke the rules? ‘Cause if you are, you’re probably right!
He gives a self-centred chuckle).
So, LeRoy used performance-enhancing drugs?
Let me tell ya, son, we don’t ask, they don’t tell. Perfectly good system. We get the best outa the boys, they get to go to the big show. This would be your win-win situation.
Charles LeRoy is dead. Who won?
Well, ma’am, I wasn’t… you didn’t…
He blinks and then he’s back to his posturing self.
That is a tragedy, a heart breaking tragedy. But I’m tellin’ ya, these kids know what they signed on for.
Did you see any rivals, or enemies when you scouted him last year?
We needed a rough kid, and we got what we paid for. The bleeding hearts out there think that we should all stick flowers in our helmets and tiptoe around. No way! Fighting is what hockey is all about! (taps table) But my boys are professional – fierce rivals on the ice, share a beer after the game. That’s what’s so great about hockey! Every red-blooded kid in Canada wants to be Wayne Gretzky.
Can’t help it, born in Edmonton. So I was saying, when a kid comes along with more spunk… will the other kids get jealous? Hell yeah! That’s your normal, everyday survival of the fittest!
JORDAN can’t believe she’s losing interest in a conversation about hockey.
Mr. Sherry, we’re both big fans, so we don’t really give a rat’s ass about bloody ice.
Now, listen little lady-
Just answer the question – can you think of anyone who’d want LeRoy out of the way?
Well, now it’s hard to exactly…
Look, if you don’t know, just say so and quit wasting our time.
The SCOUT is now admiring JORDAN and he looks at WOODY.
Son, you got a little hell cat there, you know that? That’s what I’m talking about – fire in the veins! (to JORDAN) Yes, little lady, there was one guy. Tried to show off when I was scouting LeRoy, but he didn’t have the fire. Can’t remember the kid’s name, but I think LeRoy was rooming with him here in Boston.
Thank you, Mr. Sherry. You’ve been… uh… helpful.
JORDAN rolls her eyes exaggeratedly and stomps out.
Yep, I’m tellin’ ya, one hell cat.
You have no idea…
Organ music for the ‘Charge’ call at hockey games.
11. INT. MAIN FLOOR MORGUE LOBBY - MORNING
BUG is standing with a stroller outside the elevator doors, waiting. MADDY is
in his arms, struggling to get down. BUG is trying to keep her still.
Maddy, honey, there are too many people here, you can’t get down-
BUG (rolls his eyes)
I’m so glad your father taught you that word.
MADDY grabs a cell phone from BUG’S shirt pocket and dumps it on the floor. It shatters.
Oh, No! A mess!
Madeline! What were you thinking? That is my…
He crouches down, seating MADDY on the floor. She picks up a piece of the phone, tries to put it in her mouth. BUG takes it away.
...was my phone.
Elevator doors open as BUG starts to speak. LILY steps out, looks down at BUG. She laughs and covers her mouth.
Bug, she wasn’t thinking – she’s only one!
BUG glares at LILY.
She has this new game – she drops her toys a million times and someone picks them up for her… I guess she doesn’t know the difference…
She stifles her smile.
BUG (stern, frustrated)
Oh, no, this was deliberate.
He looks to the child, sitting on the floor with two innocent fingers stuck in her mouth.
The proper response…
He is gathering the pieces of phone.
...is to ignore the negative behaviour and give plenty of attention for positive behaviour. I read several papers on the topic.
LILY (loud sigh)
She’s just been too busy lately.
LILY is also getting frustrated..
BUG (looks up patronizingly)
That’s not it at all! I told you, she’s in a classic transition phase and we need to respond with regular, planned stimuli that help her create order…
You just said she dropped your phone on purpose - you call that ‘order’?
No, I call that ‘transition from infant to toddler phase’. She is creating paradigms, or schema, if you will…
Shut up! Just… shut up!
BUG slowly stands and looks at LILY in shock.
Do you hear yourself? This is a child, Bug! She’s not one of your insects.
She stoops to pick up MADDY.
Look, Maddy and I are skipping… whatever the hell you have planned this afternoon and we’re going to the park. To play! No developmental milestones, or paradigms – just a few other kids and a couple of swings. And she’ll probably eat dirt!
Shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut up…
LILY’S eyes close and her shoulders droop in defeat.
BUG is definitely deflated now, but he’s also on auto-pilot.
Don’t worry, that’s just echololalia, it’s a form of mimicry that occurs in early speech learning stages…
You are impossible!
She grabs the stroller, puts MADDY into it and leaves very quickly.
END OF ACT TWO
12. INT. JORDAN’S OFFICE - MORNING
JORDAN is standing beside her desk, leaning forward a bit and staring at the
computer screen in her office. WOODY sneaks in and grabs her from behind She
jumps up, flips him around and has his back on her desk with her hand on his
WOODY (a little scared)
JORDAN (releases him)
Jeez, Woody! Don’t do that!
Yeah, ‘hell cat’. I don’t think I’d want to meet you in a dark alley – oh, wait, I have met you in a dark alley…
Where you got beat up by a girl if I remember.
She helps him to his feet.
You know, Jordan, sometimes you’re very hard on a man’s ego.
JORDAN (nods, steps toward WOODY)
I can be, you know, hard, on other things too…
WOODY (reluctant step back)
As tempting as that sounds… (sigh) we’ve got work. Hold that thought, OK?
He kisses her forehead and releases her; she smiles.
Did that tox screen come back?
I don’t know. (dejected look) Well, if there’s no action in here we may as well…
NIGEL pops his head in her door, he’s holding a file.
Jordan, Luv, I’ve never seen a tox screen this wonky before. I can just hear the controversy now. Big public health headache, if you ask me.
Nige, what are you talking about?
Fluoride, my boy! Those pearly whites, all our dentists and mummies and daddies tell us to use fluoride toothpaste, drink fluoridated water… and so few of our mummies know that Fluoride is actually an excellent rat poison.
Yeah, water is a poison in large enough doses. It’s all about the dose. And… remind me, why are we talking about fluoride?
Because, Luv, our young pugilist was pickled in it. Or at least his bones were. It indicates a significant dosage administered over time. Studies have proven the weakening effect large doses of fluoride has on our bones, particularly the spine. LeRoy’s bones just couldn’t handle that blow in his weakened state.
So we can rule out self-medication, I think…
Unless there’s some weird use for fluoride we aren’t aware of, I’d say this was a homicide.
See? Listen to your gut!
JORDAN rolls her eyes.
JORDAN (to NIGEL)
Wouldn’t he be having symptoms? I mean, fluoride can kill you in one dose if it’s big enough.
I think so, the lad must have been in some discomfort. Something akin to arthritis, I should think.
Wouldn’t a team doctor know about something like that?
You’d think so…
13. INT. BRUINS’ DRESSING ROOM.. .AFTERNOON
The Dressing Room is empty until JORDAN comes storming through the door. Resigned,
but a bit put-out, WOODY follows her.
Tim? Tim! You here…
He comes from a door beside the lockers.
DR. TIM (cont’d)
Hey, Jordan. What can I…?
Talk to me about the fluoride, Tim.
WOODY sighs and touches JORDAN’S back. She doesn’t look happy about it but she lets him speak.
Doctor, what my partner here is saying is we found a lethal dose of fluoride in LeRoy’s system. As his team physician we were hoping you’d be able to help us out with this.
Hey, don’t look at me! I don’t even let my kids use fluoridated water. I’m in the anti-flouride camp…
Which means you know how dangerous it is.
Jordan! How could you… it’s been a while, but I haven’t changed that much. Besides, why would I kill one of the guys? I get paid no matter how many of them are in the dressing room.
But don’t you get paid overtime if one of the guys requires extra work – say, like chronic arthritis?
Arthritis? What… Oh, the fluoride.
He has his hands on his hips and stares right at JORDAN’S face.
DR. TIM (cont’d)
You and I both took the Hippocratic oath. You know what it’s about. It still means the same to me as it did when we started out.
Now he looks square at WOODY.
DR. TIM (cont’d)
Now if you’ll excuse me, unless you’re going to arrest me I have the business of healing to attend to.
WOODY and JORDAN share a glance.
FADE TO BLACK.
Me Like Hockey - The Arrogant Worms
14. INT. INTERROGATION ROOM ONE - AFTERNOON
WOODY is facing a strong young man with a recently healed scar on the side of
his forehead. They’re seated at the same side of the table.
Thank you for coming in, Mr. Smyth. We just have a few questions.
I don’t know nothing ‘bout Charlie’s accident. I wasn’t even in the Gardens that night.
We find that often people close to an… uh… incident like this know more than they’re aware of.
What do you want to know? We were friends. He paid rent on time, he never stole my girlfriend. (his face hardens) Bastard got picked up by the Bruins, couldn’t play hockey worth a damn. All they wanted was his fists. (shakes head) I don’t know why he even bothered wearing gloves; he dropped ‘em so damn much.
Very interesting. So when the ‘bastard’ got picked up and you didn’t – you were mad, right?
Damn straight. Since we was kids – I been the good one, he’s been the fighter. We figured we’d end up in the NHL together, ya know, he’d be my own personal goon! Then he gets in, and I get cut… It just wasn’t right.
How angry were you, Ryan? Were you just ticked off, or were you mad enough to get drunk…
Yeah! I was pissed off! So, I bought a two-four of Labatts and got drunk.
… a two-four?
Twenty four. What, don’t you damned Americans drink beer? I mean that American sh-
Uh, yeah, we drink beer, Ryan. Just not by the dozen. Do you even remember what happened that night? Do you remember writing a threatening email to the Bruins organization?
SMYTH chuckles, proud of his drinking prowess.
Hell yeah, I remember. Well, I forgot that night but the next morning – or the day after or something like that – I saw it. I shoulda took English at school when Mom told me to – I’m good at… explaining myself.
WOODY (tired of his attitude)
Yeah, you’re a real Shakespeare.
He stands up, puts hands on table beside Smyth and leans in.
Let me explain myself now, Ryan. I think you got pissed off at
your buddy. You got angry, and you got drunk, and you started to think of
ways to get even. (leans closer) You were so pissed off that you started
to poison your roommate! You watched him in pain, you felt good, didn’t
What the hell are you talkin’ about, Dude? I’d ‘a drifted him one across his candy-ass jaw if I wanted to hurt him.
No, I don’t think so. I think you’re smarter than you let on. I think you planned on making him hurt, making him slow down, and if you were lucky, making him dead!
You’re frickin’ crazy! I ain’t been in Boston for two months, man, I been in Europe tryin’ to get a spot on their teams. I only got back two days ago. Check the airline, call the agents in Sweden – I’ll give you the name.
You do that, Ryan.
He takes a business card from SMYTH.
Sit tight, I’m sure it’ll take a few minutes to reach Sweden.
He leaves SMYTH looking a little less sure of himself.
15. INT. LEROY’S APARTMENT. – LATE AFTERNOON
WOODY and NIGEL are searching the kitchen.
So I checked it out.
There is a pause while he stretches to a high shelf.
Turns out he’s telling the truth.
Doesn’t mean he’s innocent. There are many ways to poison your house-mate, and you don’t necessarily need to be in the house.
Jeez, the wife could have done this, anybody!
Think about it, Woodrow. If somebody who doesn’t live here wants to poison you, they have to get it into something while they’re visiting. If it’s a roommate, they have abundant opportunities – dump the stuff in the cornflakes!
The wife sent him cookies and… whatever this is. (holds jar of Nutella) We’re going to have to test all of this crap, aren’t we?
NIGEL’S shoulders droop in anticipation of the mind-numbing work.
What do you mean, ‘we’?
Close up on the cookies in cellophane wrap.
FADE TO BLACK.
16. INT. TRACE - MORNING
JORDAN and WOODY are side by side.. They’re looking at the clear note board,
names and lines everywhere.
Who would gain from this man’s death? I mean, the roommate had motive, but he wasn’t in town. Tim had access and the knowledge, but he doesn’t have motive. The wife wasn’t around enough.
Nigel’s checking all the food in the place. The wife sent cookies, there was cereal… (beat) the field is still wide open. How about the fluoride… who’d have access to that much – dentists? Dental assistants?
Nah, they have bottles of the stuff, but it’s flavoured gel - diluted. I get the feeling our killer used a more pure form.
You know where feelings come from, right?
JORDAN raises her eyebrows; shoots him a look.
Your gut! Which you should always listen to! Let’s think this through, now that you’re in tune with your intuition…
He stands up and faces JORDAN.
I’ll be LeRoy.
JORDAN (whacks his shoulder)
OK, I’m the murderer. You’re a tough new hockey player, you’ve got potential. You’re bringing in buckets of money for your organization.
I don’t need steroids or anything – I’m a fighter. I’m already huge.
OK, if I’m Smyth, I can’t figure out why I’d kill you slowly with poison. I’d grab a gun or a club or something…
What if I really rub it in when I get picked…
We cut to LEROY, black and white shot, laughing at his roommate, patting him on the head.
We cut back to WOODY and JORDAN, nose to nose, as she violently pushes the hand off her head.
Don’t ever try that again, even if we’re doing a re-enactment.
WOODY smiles. Sounds like a challenge for later.
Nah, he’s not patient enough to wait for poison. Besides, it’s usually women who use poison, not men.
Let’s look at this the other way. You want to kill me. You’re insane with anger, but you’re cool-headed enough to make a long-term plan. Something that makes him suffer. Look at these people
He gestures to the board, with names spread around.
What kind of person are you…?
The door swings open. BUG walks in alone, looking through MADDY’S day timer.
Lily, if you want to get her into the best schools, it starts with the best kindergartens. She needs to have a well-planned school structure, or the other kids her age will be ahead of her… Lily? Lily?
He finally notices that LILY isn’t with him.
WOODY and JORDAN give him a sad look, and he turns in a peeved way, marches back out.
I never thought I’d see the day when Bug would become a crazy soccer Mom.
Have you seen them take that kid to all her stuff?. When we have ours, we are not going to do that to them…
JORDAN (high alert)
Children? Who said anything about children?
What – what are you saying, Jordan… don’t you want children? I thought after Kayla…
That was a teenager, Woody. She could brush her own teeth and feed herself. I mean, a baby just takes your whole life, for so many years. I don’t know...
I guess I just always assumed that children would be a part of our future…
There is a moment of silence - not really awkward- JORDAN and WOODY are just looking eye to eye, a little confused.
We need to deal with this one before we get married, don’t we?
Yeah…. Look – right now isn’t good, we’ve got this case… so… later.
Yeah – later.
Jordan! Who would want to kill a successful athlete?
JORDAN looks at WOODY; she has the aha moment.
FADE TO BLACK
END OF ACT THREE
17. INT. LILY’S OFFICE – LATE AFTERNOON
Close up shot of cranky MADDY’S face. She’s asleep, but she looks mad and restless.
The camera pans back to see LILY asleep beside her on the couch. It pans farther
back to see BUG in the doorway, holding the day timer. NIGEL walks up and stands
NIGEL (lovey dovey smile)
Aren’t they the sweetest thing you’ve seen all day.
Yeah. I hate to wake them, but it’s time for Mommy and Me.
Why wake them? Look, they’re exhausted! Lil said they spent the day at the park, just the two of them.
BUG (flipping open the day timer)
We have this organized – she’s had an appropriate period of rest, and now it’s time for her to-
Do you hear yourself? Have you heard yourself at all? We’ve been…
NIGEL turns to the sleeping pair, stops talking and gently closes the door.
He steals the day timer and runs with it to Autopsy One, with BUG in hot pursuit.
18. INT. AUTOPSY ONE - CONTINUING
This, my friend, is an intervention – don’t thank me now…
NIGEL throws the daytimer out the window. As it falls, it explodes into hundreds
of pages and flutters away.
BUG (nearly shouting)
What - I - Why did you do that? Do you have any idea how long it’s going to take to get a new one filled…?
That’s rather the idea. (serious) You are driving that little girl insane! She isn’t herself, and poor Lily is dizzy! Do you honestly think that Mommy and Me is going to get that child into Harvard? What you’re going to do is get her into a mental institution before she hits puberty. Pressure – Bug – I know about pressure to perform for your parents. How many years did Dad and I ignore each other? Do you want that? Hey?
BUS is visibly trying to calm himself and be rational
You don’t understand the research we’ve done…
We? We? Don’t for a minute expect me to believe that Lily helped you research the latest advancements in early childhood education.
NIGEL speedily steps through to BUG’S desk and grabs a pile of thin books.
I mean, look at this! Hooked on Phonics, Baby edition! Your Baby Can Read. Smart Baby Flashcards. (beat, eye contact.) Flash cards for God’s sake! Journal of Medical Entymol- oh, well that one’s yours, but this is insane. She’s got the rest of her life to learn and be brilliant, Bug. Why not just let her cuddle with her Mummy for now?
But… if we don’t… all the other parents are doing it!
NIGEL puts a hand on BUG’S shoulder.
NIGEL (patronizing smile)
Now, what have I told you about following the crowd, Buggles? If all the other parents jumped off a bridge, would you?
Give me a break.
BUG backs up so NIGEL’S hand falls away, but he stays near the desks. He looks through the glass to his sleeping ladies.
You have had that child on a schedule just like the larvae you hatched last month. Newsflash – she’s not an unpleasant squirming maggot, she’s a child! People are more than schedules and plans.
There is so much research out there, Nigel you have no idea! I thought there was a large body of literature around forensic entymology, but I was wrong! It’s impossible to keep up! And… and decisions at this stage in her development are crucial to her future.
There is a beat as he looks NIGEL in the eyes.
BUG (cont’d) (terrified)
What if we make a mistake?
Well, in that case you’ll be like all the other parents on the face of the earth. And Maddy will survive, and she’ll grow up and be a beautiful woman you will both be proud of.
BUG (fear deepens)
But… but Nigel… there will be men like you out there…
Of course there will. But if anybody wants to get to our Maddy, they’ve gotta get through me, first.
He cracks his knuckles.
They flop down in their desk chairs, side by side.
When does it get easier? And more importantly, when did I start taking parenting advice from Nigel Townsend?
When you woke up and smelled the coffee, lad.
19. EXT. SHABBY LOOKING APARTMENT BUILDING – AFTERNOON
Accelerating Sports Arena - Captain Audio
20. INT. APARTMENT BUILDING HALLWAY - CONTINUING
WOODY and JORDAN are at a door, knocking.
Just because I’m going to let you do the talking doesn’t mean you can go all Jordan on me, got it?
What the hell does that-?
She stops when the door opens. We see a middle aged, tired-looking woman.
Jordan Cavanaugh, Medical Examiner. This is Wood-
WOODY interrupts – he can say his own name!
Detective Woody Hoyt, ma’am, Boston Police Department. We’re investigating the death of your son’s roommate and-
EILEEN (heavy French accent)
Well, now, well I don’t know if you will get anything from me. I don’t know that much about Ryan’s friends.
We just have a few questions – it’ll only take a minute.
She flashes a sweet smile. Man, she’s good!
Bien, but only for a minute. I must go to meet my son for the supper.
21. INT. MRS JARDIN’S APARTMENT - CONTINUING
MRS JARDIN stands aside and gestures for them to come in. It is a modest apartment.
JORDAN passes a picture of a young woman graduating from nursing school.
Is this you?
Bien, oui, it’s me. It’s a long time since I take that photo.
WOODY gives her a charming smile. He’s good too!
You’re a beautiful lady.
Thank you. Come to sit!
They all settle down in the living room. There are plastic covers on the seat cushions.
Mrs. Jardin, you moved to Boston… to follow your son? Is he your only child?
Bien sur, I have only one boy. He’s my life, after my dear Allain die. It’s two year since Ryan comes here to play the hockey. I have friends in Montreal, but Ryan is my boy, from my body, you know?
WOODY (sly glance at JORDAN)
Of course. So, do you go to his apartment a lot?
But, yes, he needs his Mama to make sure he eats right. He’s a strong boy. If he’s going to play with those big boys he needs to eat right.
So, you bring food for him?
Do you cook…?
What Mama doesn’t cook for her baby, unh? He’s my baby, he’s got no… girl, just a room mate who cheats him out of his place avec les Bruins! Of course, I want that he play for Montréal, but Charles, he got called to the Bruins so to the Bruins they go.
They were friends when they were boys?
Oh, yes, best friends! They were unbeatable on the ice. Charles, he make things happen and my Ryan, he get the goals. All the way up, through juniors they go together.
Until the Bruins drafted Charlie…
Yes! They take Charles, they leave my Ryan. I say to him the Bruins they’re no good for you, you come home and play for les Canadiens, oui? But my boy he get a job driving Zamboni at the rink.
That’s so unfair!
(catches JORDAN’S lead)
How could Charles leave your son like that? If Ryan were my boy, I’d
do something about it!
Bien, oui! I take care of it. I drive my boy to the rink, stand in the cold, freeze myself for years. His father die in a car accident, driving to the rink. I spend all my money getting my boy to hockey school in Ontario. I get him everything he need – and Charles is the one. (beat) Yes, I take care of it.
Mrs. Jardin, it was fluoride that killed Charles LeRoy. His bones were so brittle that a normal hit in that last game shattered his skull. Would you know anything about that?
There is a quiet pause as EILEEN looks at the floor. Her shoulders droop a bit more.
Venez avec moi.
EILEEN stands and heads to her tiny kitchen. She digs into a big bin under the counter, and brings out a large brown jar with white pills in it, hands it to JORDAN.)
You know anyway, so I give it to you. I put it in the Corn Flake; my Ryan, he hate the Corn Flake. But Charles, him, he have it every morning. I know he will get – how you say – arthrite… his bones they hurt. I thought he just stop to play and remember his old friend Ryan… I don’t want him to be hurt.
WOODY takes the woman’s arm, but his eyes are sad.
Mrs. Jardin, you have the right to remain silent…
Close up of EILEEN JARDIN’S face. She’s sad, her eyes are blank. We close in
to the black of one pupil, and fade within that blackness to a home video of
two little boys playing hockey in a backyard rink. They’re laughing and having
fun, when they start to wrestle the invisible woman behind the camera laughs.
The two both look up and smile.
FADE TO BLACK.
22. INT. JORDAN’S OFFICE – EARLY EVENING
LILY is asleep on couch and MADDY is asleep in portable playpen on the other
side of the room. BUG and JORDAN are standing at the door.
Thanks so much, Jordan. Maddy shouldn’t give you any trouble.
It’s no trouble, Bug, really! The two of you deserve a night out. Maddy and I – we’ll be – fine.
BUG sits down on couch and gently awakens LILY.
Lil! It’s time to go!
LILY (tired yawny voice)
Oh, Bug! Jordan! I guess I fell asleep again. Twice in one day.
JORDAN is still supportive, but a bit reluctant, too.
Go! You two go do… whatever it is parents do. Don’t worry.
Thank you so much Jordan!
LILY stands up and hugs JORDAN. All three move to the hall where LILY starts
to hand JORDAN a diaper bag.
23. INT. HALLWAY - CONTINUING
LILY In here’s a can of formula and a sterile bottle. She’s used to room temperature,
so just dump it in the bottle if she gets fussy. The diapers and stuff are already
over there beside the playpen, there’s a change of clothes because – you know,
you haven’t seen poop until you’ve seen it on the back of a child’s head – she
really should sleep-
BUG (interrupts LILY)
Lily, let’s go. Jordan has an M.D. in Medicine. I think she can figure
out a baby for a few hours.
She hugs JORDAN again and whispers to her:
Toys in front pocket, teething ring already in the freezer in the break room, make sure she has her pacifier to fall asleep…
BUG gently grabs LILY’S arm and tugs her out.
Thanks again! See you at midnight or so, alright? (to LILY) Come on. Maddy will be fine!
JORDAN (waves weakly)
Brown Girl in a Ring - The Wiggles
The moment the elevator doors close, MADDY wakes up. She is screaming. JORDAN
picks her up, in a great mood. She’s sure she can do this! Cut to JORDAN changing
a diaper. MADDY screaming. Cut to JORDAN trying to give a screaming MADDY a
bottle. Cut to MADDY throwing a toy across the room. Cut to JORDAN trying to
hold MADDY, looking very frustrated. The elevator dings, and JORDAN looks over
with a hopeful look – face falls when it’s WOODY. JORDAN’S voice is flat, but
loud over the angry child.
Oh, it’s you.
Glad to see you too. (looks at MADDY) What’s her problem?
I don’t know! I changed her, I fed her, I tried to play with her, I sang to her, I’m holding her, I’m running out of ideas!
She is trying to smile; it doesn’t really work.
Let me try!
WOODY takes Maddy - she cries louder. He raises his voice over the din as JORDAN tries to sneak off to the break room.
Whoa, where are you going?
JORDAN (hands over ears)
To tie my own fallopian tubes!
A few more scenes of JORDAN and WOODY trying to calm MADDY. Finally, they’re sitting on the couch with MADDY lying down between them, facing them, half on JORDAN and half on WOODY. She’s quiet. We get a close up of a happy baby face.
See! I told you it was just gas.
He tickles MADDY’S tummy.
Woody, gas makes the Camino run. This child had enough methane in her system to blow up the whole building.
You have to admit, Jordan, she’s pretty cute when she’s not screaming.
MADDY holds her hands up to Jordan. JORDAN takes MADDY in her arms. Close-up
of baby smiling. We see JORDAN holding MADDY, WOODY squashed up close to JORDAN.
JORDAN is smiling at the baby, WOODY is smiling at JORDAN.